By Alan Berg
In my article for the last issue I shared 5 Things Your Guests Won’t Tell You, with some of the things that you and I, as guests, have experienced at other people’s weddings and events. You know, the things we say as we’re leaving, or when recounting the tales of the affair to those who weren’t there.
In case you missed it, here’s the summary (you can find the entire article on page 101 in the Fall 2013 issue of Beautiful Bride Magazine):
1) Your guests won’t thank you for making your Mom, sister, best friend or maid of honor work on your wedding day.
2) Your guests won’t thank you for making them wait while you take pictures.
3) Your guests won’t tell you that you put way too many things on your wedding registry.
4) Your guests want to see, and hear your ceremony. Ask them to stay in their seats so everyone else can see.
5) Your guests won’t thank you for hiring the cheapest wedding vendors.
I had so much good input for the first article that I wanted to continue it here. So, here are 5 More Things Your Guests Won’t Tell You:
1) The music was too loud for conversation. We know that it’s usually the older folks who would complain about the noise, but truth be told, everyone wants to be able to have a conversation. If you hire the right band or DJ, and they know your venue well, they’ll be able to ensure that your guests will be able to have a conversation at their tables, even while the dance floor is packed.
2) I came here to see the two of you, not the people at my table. While it can be tough with a larger guest count, everyone there came to see you, the happy wedding couple. It’s your role to be gracious hosts & hostesses and make sure that your guests are acknowledged for attending and having a good time. Even a receiving line is a way for them to get a moment of face time with you.
3) Not sending thank you cards, it’s just rude – Wow, I heard this from a few people. People who have gone to the trouble of sending you a gift, whether they attended your wedding or not, whether it was off your registry or not, need to be properly thanked. No one is obligated to send you a gift because you got married. Sending a thank you note (preferably a hand-written one that’s personal) is a very nice, and very classy touch.
4) There were way too many speeches… What’s that you said? I’m sorry, I tuned out. Let the best man and maid of honor make their speeches. Mom & Dad and other close friends and relatives should give their speeches at the rehearsal dinner. Most of the guests won’t get the inside jokes and it puts a real damper on the mood and energy to have your guests sit through endless toasts.
5) Thanks for not thinking about the comfort of your guests during the ceremony. This is especially true for outdoor ceremonies scenarios, having your guests sitting in the blazing hot sun without fans for a 45-60 minute ceremony. Consider not only the time of year, but also how long your guests will be waiting for the ceremony to start. Can you have a tent? Can you have somewhere for the guests to get some shade before they get seated? Can you have water or other cool beverages for them? Those plastic folding chairs aren’t the most comfortable for sitting for long periods, especially in dressy clothing.
Well, there you have it, 5 more things you wouldn’t want if you were a guest at a wedding, and now you can avoid doing them to your guests. Realistically it would be best for every couple to put themselves in the shoes of their guests. It’s hard to do for a couple of reasons. First, it’s your wedding day, so it’s all about you, right? Sort of. The ceremony is all about you, but the reception is a celebration of your union, so throw a great party for your friends and family. When you throw a party for your friends and family, you make sure they have a great time. The other reason it’s hard to put yourself in their shoes is that you’re not them. You eat different foods. You enjoy different music. You like different design and décor. Quite simply it’s hard to please everyone, so don’t try to, but do try to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome (which is why I advocate using a professional wedding planner, that’s what they do so well and they can help you navigate these murky waters).
I’m sure you’re going to have a wonderful wedding ceremony and reception. Let’s have your guests raving about how yours was the first wedding they’ve ever felt really welcomed and a part of it. Now, wouldn’t that be nice.
Alan Berg has over 20 years of experience in the wedding industry and has authored three books, “If your website was an employee, would you fire it?,” “Don’t Paint The House” and “Your Attitude for Success.” Learn more at www.alanberg.com
This copyrighted article was written by Alan Berg, professional speaker, author and business consultant – North America’s Leading Expert on the Business of Weddings & Events, and published in Beautiful Bride Magazine. To find out more about Alan Berg visit www.AlanBerg.com © 2013 Alan Berg
• author • business consultant • professional speaker • small business marketing guru
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author of “If your website was an employee, would you fire it?” , “Don’t Paint the House!“ and the new book “Your Attitude for Success”
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